((BTW This was a role play we did on the chat. ._. :P I Tried to turn it into a fan fiction it kinda failed :/)) ((lol))

The Characters and Enemies


A Timelord with her TARDIS Teapot called ADDY. She is very sensitive but is a good friend.


A Magical being has many friends and tries to be gentlemanly like but doesn't work very well.


A Girl with a love for Dr. Who is best friends with Paris, Sophia and Jake and has a Sniper. She can also easily become distracted.


She has many friends and is the love life of Jake. She seems to be very sleepy and VERY Intelligent.

The Giant Professor

He loves pudding apart from the ones being thrown at him. He can grow at his own will.

The Man-Eating Cabbage

A Mutated Cabbage that lives on the Planet Devon and ONLY Eats Humans.


They are just like fish but can talk. They live in the Fesih Nebula

Attack of the Giant Professah

A Giant large teapot materialized into a giant room. The doors open.

"MOVE BITCH," A Teenage boy exclaims as he walks through the doors. "I LIKE TEAPOTS!"

and then a woman in her early 20s follows after the boy and says "Alright everyone, where have we landed? ah...seems we're on mars, wrap up warm!" but then just after she says that she realizes something. "Why...I think...I hear someone trying to get onto facebook???"

And then a towering man sitting on a chair at a desk, topless, seems to be raging as he tries to log onto facebook. "He has no shirt on! Oh my god!" The boy shouts. A Silence follows. "Why....why doesn't he have a shirt..." The woman asks.

" I Have no idea Paris." Answering the question.

Then the man notices the people and shouts with all his breath "SHUT YOUR STUPID WHORE FACE!"

Paris's jaw drops at his remark and shouts back "RUDENESS!"

A Girl around the same age as the boy pops out of the teapot and whispers to herself "Only Sophia knows what an awkward silence is."

Then the boy gets mad at this mans rudeness and says "Don't talk like that to Paris Move Bitch i'll handle him!" He walks forward and says "You mad bro?"

The girl getting bored shouts "TARDIS" And runs back into the teapot to watch something.

"I'LL KICK YOU BACK TO THE 1920S!!" Says the boy still shouting insults at him. "Fuck yes I'm mad! I'm a time lord! I ain't no bitch! and that there is a SNIPER!"

The boy then just randomly shouts "PROFESSAH!"

"Be careful!" Says Paris warning the boy. "His growth houses his power!"

The boy confused at what she said says "What what?!"

Then the giant man seems to at least double in size and while doing so laughs manically.

Paris then runs back into the teapot and takes the girl's ear and says "NIKI! WE NEED YOU NEVER MIND DR. WHO!!"

The boy decides to run near the teapot saying "OH FUCK! PROTECT ME! What are we going to do Chrono?" Chrono referring to Paris as a nickname.

Chrono thinking with all her brain has an idea. " the teapot!"

"ME FIRST BITCHES!" He shouts as he runs into the teapot.


Luke ,speechless, decides to say "LUKE FACT OF THE DAY KIDS GENTLEMAN HAS ONE G CHRONO!"

Then as Paris stands there she collapses to the floor, hysterical.

"Chrono?" Jake says worried about his best friend.

Niki, appearing in the teapot, asks her friends "What did i miss?"

Jake and Chrono together say "Everything!"

Niki looking worried says "oh?"

Chrono says "The Professor is out there and trying to log onto Facebook."

"We must stop him!" Says Jake "But how?"

Niki, thinking, answers sarcastically "...sophia. and her awesome, admin, internet powers". THE END!"

"NIKI! Sophia is sleeping. We don't want to get her agroed!" Jake says.

Sophia snores as she sleeps.

"WHAT?!" Shouts Niki "At a time like this?! that's the opposite of the sonic screwdriver!"

Jake thinks and answers "Laser Screwdriver?"

Then Sophia wakes from her sleep and shouts out "LASER SPANNER!"

"AHHHH!" Jake replies to Sophia's idea. "Sophia, you nearly gave me a heart attack!"

Then Chrono pulls out something from her left pocket. "MAGNET SPORK!!! But how do we get up there?" She asks thinking about the computer desk.

Sophia replies to Jake's last statement "Oh noes, really, sweetheart?"

"Sshhh Sophia. Paris is thinking." Jake tells Sophia.

Everyone then starts to think about what to do.

Paris then peers out of the teapot and stares at the Professor. "hmmm......I think as he still has trousers on and he's busy looking at Katia's profile page...We should climb behind the computer and remove the plug...."

"Great idea." Jake compliments the idea "But..."

"...or maybe we can stab him with the spork..." Finishes Paris

"But magnets can't get to close to the computer or they delete everything." Tells Jake

"...okay. But who's going out?" Asks Niki. But then Niki has an idea. "Exactly!"

"...that's a good thing right? 'cos then he can't look at the sexy pudding.

"I Have an idea." Jake exclaims.

"ooo, do tell." Paris says.

"Someone get him distracted..." Tells Jake

"Ok...that may have to be me..."

"...and then i'll take the spork..." Jake takes the spork from Paris "...and stick it on the computer, but he won't see us because we are too small."

"As a timelord, I Can summon the TARDIS TEAPOT, Regenerate and intelligence and nothing more...that's right..I Have intelligence..." Paris says

Niki then shouts out after her silence "I'll be the distraction!!!"

Jake annoyed that both want to distract shouts "MAKE YOUR MIND UP GUYS! WHO'S DISTRACTING!"

"OO noooo!!! I love you too much to sacrifice yourself Niki!" Paris says to Niki "I SHALL!! I Cannot shoot a gun to save my life."

"CHRONO," Paris turns her head to listen to Jake "I WILL MAKE YOU BIG!"

Then Jake streches out and a light shines through Jake and pushes Paris out of the Teapot and turns her into the Size of the Professor.

"Naw, if the doctor taught me anything, it's how to be a distraction and that fezzes are cool. I'M READY!" Says Niki.

"Niki look after Sophia and the teapot!" Jake orders Niki

"...and we need someone to shoot him in his frowny face chest hair..oh...wait...I'm big...hi professor." Says Paris

"SHUT UP!" Shouts the Professor "SHUT THE FUCK THE SHUT UP!"

Paris astounded at what the Professor just said asks "...was...was that even english?"

Jake shouts at Paris "FLIRT WITH HIM!"

Paris then starts to cry and says "I Don't wanna be the distraction anymore!!!

"You must chrono!" Jake tells his Friend "Okay Guys, I'm going in!"

Jake runs and starts to climb the Computer tower. "How do i get to the USB Port??"

But then Niki jumps out from the Teapot and screams "HEY LOOK AT ME IMMA DISTRACTION!!!" "NIKI NO!" Shouts Jake, worried about Niki's safety.

The Professor notices Niki and shouts "PUNY MIDGET NIKI!!!"

"TOO LATE!" Shouts Niki at Jake. She then takes some Pudding and throws them at the Professor. As soon as she does this the professor starts to get mad.

While chrono is still crying. "I'm...I'm a lover...not...not a fighter..."

Looking at Niki, The professor shouts "WHY DO YOU THROW PUDDING AT ME!! I'M ON FACEBOOK!!!"

"ARRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!" Screams Jake as he struggles to keep on climbing. "Chrono help me up here!"

Chrono, who is still crying, says "I want to be small..I feeelll like a fattyyyyyyyy!"

The Professor still shouting says " I DON'T EVEN TOUCH MYSELF!! I DON'T TOUCH MYSELF!"

Jake then uses his magical powers to shrink Paris back to Normal size. "Now, help me with the magnet spork!"

Niki still throwing the pudding says "...because it's fun..."

Jake realizes that Paris is too sad too helo and says "I think Chrono's a little sad right now. Niki over here!"

But then Chrono stops crying and realizes that she is not small anymore and says "SUMMON SPORK!"

Jake shouts down to Chrono saying "I'll do the rest!"

"I'm being the distraction!" Says Niki to update Paris as she still throws the Pudding.

But then Paris collapses again saying " happy to be small....TO MY TEAPOT!"

"I Must repay my debt to you." Says Jake as he climbs the Computer Tower. "Nearly There...I Can see USB Port!!" He takes out the Spork "Take this you hunk---"

Paris joins Niki with the pudding throwing and laughs "AHAHAHAHAH!!! PUDDING!!" But then with all the Puddings being thrown one misses the Professor and hits Jake and knocks him off. "Arrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Screams Jake as she falls from the computer tower. He then hits the ground and says "Ouchie. Way to go NIKI!"

Niki realizes what shes done and apologizes "...whoops" She then stops throwing pudding at the professor and throws bananas instead. "Sorry Jake.!"

Jake then says "Let's try again!" He then climbs up the computer tower while the others distract him. He reaches the USB Port and takes out the spork. "Okay now this time it will work! Take this you hunk of metal!"

Niki sees Jake and shouts back at him "CAREFUL!"

Jake then sticks the Spork into the Port and the Computer Screen starts to fuzz and it disappears. Paris eats some Pudding while watching the computer break.

The Professor looks at the computer and realizes what just happened. "NOOOOOO!" He screams "THE FACEBOOKS!!!"

Whilst the professor moans at the computer Jake lies on the floor after falling off fr the second time and had electricity pass through him. "Owwwww. It hurts! SO MUCH! I see a light!" Jake tells his friends.

Niki grabs Jake's hand. "Stay with me Buddy, Luke, Jake, friend!"

"I CAN HELP!" Tells Paris.

"I Feel high." Says Jake

Niki and Paris drag him into the Teapot and take out a bed and lay him on it.

"bed?" asks niki

"I Don't want sex." Proclaims Jake.

Paris brews tea and cake. "It's a medical bed you retards!"

"I'M A LUKETARD BITCH!" Shouts Jake "Ow..."

"YOU WANT YOUR LIFE SAVED?!" Shouts Paris at Jake

".....yes" Says Jake quietly.

"Ok...we have the Cake or the CAKEOFDEATH?!" Asks Paris loudly.

"WHAT?!" Screams Jake at the question.

"I ask you this...CAKE...OR DEATH?!" Asks Paris again.

"cake" answers Jake.

"I would choose the cake." Says Niki.

"Cake has 4 Letters" Says Jake.

Then Paris takes the cake and smushes it in Jake's face. "Ok you should be fine now."

Then something bad happens "H.E.L.P..M...E.." And then suddenly Jake has a seizure.

"RORY PUNCHED HITLER IN THE FACE!!! he's puttin' hitler in the closet." Says Niki as she watches Dr. Who "DON'T DIE JAKE!"

Jake starts to cough and splutter. "Sorry, I Had cake in my throat."

"....he lay there dying and you watched drwho?" Paris asks Niki.

"I AM ALIVE! Now where's Sophia?" Asks Jake.

"I IS HERE!" Shouts Sophia.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you nearly gave me another heart attack. Now let's kill the professor for good!" Says Jake.

"YEAH!" Says Niki as she takes out her Sniper.

"DO YOUR THING NIKI!" Jake tells Niki.

"Who wants the honours for me to kill him?" Niki asks everyone.

"ME!" Says Everyone else.

"I dunno..." Says Paris "I kinda made a cup of tea and...cakes....caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkeeeeee!!!" Says Paris.

"Just kill him!" Exclaims Jake.

"kill him with tea?" Asks Niki confusingly.

"INSTANT TEA!" Shouts Leila "Kill him with that!"

"HANG ON!!! I Have an idea!" Shouts Paris with an idea. Paris walks out the door and says "Professor? Cake or DEATH?!"

Niki, Sophia and Jake watch from the Teapot nervously.

Jake gets an idea into his head. "You can have 50/50!"

The professor thinks for a while and says "50/50..."

"Okay then. Death or Death?" Asks Jake.

"So what is the vote?" Asks Paris. "I Vote he takes Death!"

"ME TOO!" Shouts Leila.

"Death!" Screams Jake.

"Then he SHALL have DEATH!" Paris takes the Death Cake and uses a super jump and smushes it into his face. "Oh Yay!"

Everyone screams "YAY!" As The Professor dies in front of their eyes.

"So...what do we do now?" Jake asks his other Friends.

"I Have an idea." Says Niki.

"What?" Asks everyone else.

But then Leila decides against it. "No, I'm not going into it actually."

"Let's go to our next Adventure!" Says Paris.

"Let's go see Flora." Says Jake for their Next Adventure.

"She lives in a watering can, right?" Asks Paris.

"Yep." Answers Jake.


The Man-Eating Cabbage

The teapot dances through the time vortex as it goes to it's next location. It lands on a Planet.

"Welcome!!! To the Planet Devon! Where the whole entire planet is covered in fields and chickens!!!" Says Paris "Feel free to kick them!"

Paris kicks a chicken and it clucks and tries to fly away from Paris.

"Can i have some tea?" Asks Niki.

"Oooh Devon." Says Jake. He takes out a camera and takes many pictures.

"I'm going to kick a chicken!" Niki says.

Niki starts to kicks Chickens and Jake joins her.

But then Jake notices something "What's that?" Asks Jake as he points to an ominous shadow. Everyone looks to the shadow.

"Thats..." Says Sophia. She tries to think about what it is.

"It can't be....Can it?" Says Jake as he sees what it really is.

"A MAN EATING CABBAGE!" Paris shouts "Fuck! I Thought they were extinct"

Everyone starts to worry about it and try not to stare it in the eyes.

"OH NO! IT SEES US!" Screams Jake.

"EVERYONE ON TOP OF THE TEAPOT!" Paris tells Everyone.

Paris, Sophia and Jake climb up the teapot. But then Niki gets eaten by the Cabbage.

"NIKI! NO!" Shouts Jake.

Jake then Ninja kicks the Man eating cabbage in the face. Niki falls out of it's mouth but it's too late she's already dead.

"NIKI!!!!" Jake screams over Niki's body. Jake tries to give her CPR. But Paris pushes Jake away.

"It's fine, , I'm sure she would have shot her way out...CAKE OR DEATH??" Paris asks.

"CAKE!" Niki answers.

"Few, she's alive." Sighs Jake.

Niki eats the rest of the cake.

"We better get out of here quickly though." Says Jake.

"To the teapot, quickly!" Shouts Jake.

"...We're on the teapot." Paris tells Jake.

Everyone jumps off the Roof and jumps inside the teapot.

"Hmmmm...Let's go to the Feish Nebula!" Paris says.

"Sure thang gurl." Jake says.

Paris pulls some levers presses some buttons and sets the location.

The Feish Nebula

They're at a planet full of water with loads of, what seems like, fish.

"Right, we can breath here 'cos of the feish...they are fish...they can talk...and it's pronounced...FEEEESSSHHHH!" Paris tells the Gang.

"Hello FEEEESSSHH!" Jake says.

"oh? are they? HELLO FEISH!! wait...can we even breath?!" Niki asks.

"Yes." Answers Paris.

"That's good." Niki says.

"The teapot makes you breathable anywhere." Paris says. "I think descole is around here somewhere."

"Descole? But how?" Asks Jake.

"Epic face off with Descole anyone?" Niki asks the gang.

"I Dunno. He's too shmexy." Jake proclaims.

"Ah he's harmless, he just lays around here...nattering about evil things...being licked by's all a bit odd...strange man." Paris tells everyone.

"Very odd. Now let's go lick fish. I mean...Um..." Jake says.

"It's fine! They don't mind..they on toast....mmm..." Paris says

"Mmmmmmmmm!" Jake starts to drool on the floor about Beans-on-toast-flavoured-fish.

Niki checks her watch to look at the time.

"Now wheres discoley!" He asks while mocking descole's name.

"I Don't know let's go looking for trouble!" Niki says

"Good Plan!!! I Think we should go and find MY WIFE." Paris says

"Oh no!" Says Sophia while she lets out a chuckle.

The gang walk into the teapot whilst still talking.

"Yeah and I Know where to find him!" Jake says.

"This is going to be FUN!" Says Niki.

"Just say where Jake and I Shall teleport us!" Paris tells Jake

"THE MOON" Jake says.


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